Forgive Us For Being "Corny"......

but share a few chuckles with us !!!


Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking..... surely I cannot look that old?  You may enjoy this short story......

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name.  Suddenly I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30 years ago.  Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.  This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. 

After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. 

"Yes", he replied.  "When did you graduate?" I exclaimed.

He answered, "1970. Why?"   "You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely, and then the son of a bitch asked, "What did you teach?"

And how about this one.....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at the drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"    "Yes", I sighed, "She is my old girlfriend.  I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My Heavens! said my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long? "



Observations of Growing Older..........

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Your kids are becoming you... and you don't like them. But your grandchildren are perfect !

Yellow become the big color.... walls, hair, teeth.... !

Eventually you reach a point where you stop lying about your age, and start bragging about it.

When people say you look GREAT... they add "for your age" !

You forget names.... but its OK, because other people forget they even know you !

You ask your husband or friend how your outfit looks and they tell you the truth !

The last two outfits you wore had spots on them.

When you needed the discount you paid full price.... now you get discounts on everything.....

The five pounds you wanted to lose is now 15, and you have a better chance of losing your keys than those 15 pounds !

Did you ever notice the Roman numeral for 40 is.... XL  ?

Before you go anywhere you make sure to bring your eyeglasses?

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks !


Baby Boomer Songs

It was fun being a baby boomer.... until now.  Some of the vocal artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics just to accommodate aging baby boomers:

1. Herman's Hermits..... Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker

2. The Bee Gees..... How Can You Mend a Broken Hip?

3. Bobby Darin...... Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash

4. Paul McCartney..... I Get By With a Little Help From Depends

5. Roberta Flack..... The First Time I Ever Forgot Your Face

6. Johnny Nash..... I Can't See Clearly Now

7. Paul Simon.... Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

8. The Commodores.... Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom

9.  Procol Harem.... A Whiter Shade of Hair

10.  Leo Sayer.... You Make Me Feel Like Napping

11. Marvin Gaye.... I Heard Through the Grape Nuts

12. The Temptation..... Papa's Got a Kidney Stone

13. Abba..... Denture Queen

14. Tony Orlando..... Knock Three Times On the Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall

15. Helen Reddy..... I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore

16.  Willie Nelson.... On the Commode Again

17. Leslie Gore.... It's My Procedure and I'll Cry If I Want To